marty feldman

This is gonna take a bit to write. Or maybe not. I don't even know.

SO last night I got to hang out with my sister, and it was pretty awesome. We had McGangBangs. She has never eaten one before, so she was like NAWWWAAAWAAWAM!!!!

And then her stomach turned inside out and kicked her eggs. Ew. We spent hours playing Mario Kart 64 and Super Mario World 64. And I mean...we were up till four. Twas intense. "WALL JUMP! NO YOU DUMMY! WALL FREAKING JUMP! FAIL! START!" We're cool.

So for those who don't know my sister, she'll be a Frosh at Southport High School next year, and she's THE smartest person I know. Like...Rhodes Scholar smart. But unfortunately...she's terribly ditsy. It's amazing. She spent an hour trying trying to tell me this...

"Giraffes are super cool! It sucks that they're being continually hunted, and they're population is dwindling by the years."

Instead...she said this...

"Giraffes are ultra cool! But there isn't as many as there used to was cuz now they aren't as many as before because there used to be a lot but now they're fewer in numbers because hunters hunt them so now there is not as many much moosen box boxen."

I was like...wtffffffff?!??!?!

Anyways..so that was cool.

THEN I HAD TO GO TO WORK TODAY!

Nine hour shifts at a hillbilly gathering hole isn't really all that great. Ever. Except when things are going okay. I started my shift at eleven, and at three, googley eyes came in...oh mercy...

So I'm standing on a different side of the counter than usual because my co-worker Niki was maning the main register. And I'm bitching about how our manager NEVER GETS ENOUGH CIGARETTES EVER AND WE NEVER HAVE ENOUGH WHORE! Oh man...and she HAD to say something...

"Blubluebluubereb buryblubbery boobooboobloooueee?"

She's speaks trailer trash...but I was able to depict her language. The best way to do this is to drool, and slam your head against a counter about seven thousand times.

"Is all you ever dew is bith and complain?"

So I'm like listen here YOU MARTY FUCKING FELDMAN LOOK ALIKE! GO HOME AND HAVE YOUR DIKE CLUB MEMBER HIT YOU IN THE PACKAGE WITH YOUR MONKEY WRENCH SOME MORE!

Okay...maybe all of that wasn't said...but I did tell her that she looked like Marty Feldman and that she should have someone push her eyes back into her socket. And if you don't know who Marty Feldman is...he's that guy who's picture I've posted at the top of this post. I know...it's funny. Laugh it up. But that's what she looks like...I KID YOU NOT!

I hope this was funny. I really wanted to base my blogs off of how Miss.Wicker writes her's. But alas, I will do what I can do best.

Also, Miss.Wicker, you're cute. Thank you for stopping by today.

ALSO...derpderpderpderpderpderpdprp blugeeegblueeegguboovoovoobooboobooboobooboo!

For Lissa. Derp.