cup.

I don't like Nascar.

And that's weird. Because I used to kinda almost sorta like it. But I think that's only because my dad would watch it when I was little, and I grew up thinking I was a Dale Earnhardt fan. Then I realized I was a Tony Stewart fan. Then I realized that I couldn't care less. "Fuck it. Let's watch more football."

Last night, as I sat at my new roll-top desk, I began writing all of my habits down in my notebook. Some good, some bad, and some so weird that they couldn't be good nor bad.

And I re-read them after I was done. Some of them made me laugh. Like how I always keep my chair next to my bed so Snickers can jump up at night, or how I make sure every single loose strand of hair is pulled out of my head after I take a shower.

But my favorite one, neither good or bad, is this.

"I narrate my own life in such a way, that I lead myself to believe that I live in a parallel universe."

And I know that sounds weird, and yes, I was narrating my life way before J.D. was.

But I really do this. I always run things through my mind. First in the normal way, or at least what I perceive to be normal, and then through the impossible scenarios that may exist in the parallel universe. In fact, it's this thought process in which I've written most of my college papers.

And my professors love them. I do this, because sometimes I like to think that any given situation could have happened in a different and more crucial way.

For example.

I'm driving down the highway. Someone is driving really close behind me. And I'm talking, like so close I can smell the drivers after-shave.

Whenever this happens, the driver eventually realizes that I'm not going to speed up. So he, or she, switches into the next lane and passes me. Nothing bad has happened.

Except........

In my mind, these scenarios played in my head.

1. I brake check the driver, either causing a wreck, or he just ruined both vehicles. I'll leave that up to the drivers behind him.

2. As the driver passes me, I roll my windows down and jump onto his vehicle. I then jump into his vehicle and I either steer straight into the highway dividers, I steer into oncoming traffic, or I throw the guy out the window.

3. I follow the driver. Wherever he drives, I drive. The rest may or may not be history.

4. I veer more to the right of his vehicle, then I steer left into it and cause the driver to spin backwards into the vehicles behind us. Oops.

Even though I would NEVER do these things, and I never THINK of them as something I would do, it's still something I could be doing...in a parallel universe.

Whenever I burn incense, it makes my Diet Coke taste like Pine-Sol.

I've been awake for seventy-four hours and fifty-one minutes.

Fifty-six minutes.

I'm out of things to write. Either that, or I'm too tired to think of what I really wanted to write before I started writing all of this nonsense.

Fifty-seven.